chucklingpecan:

I have internal
blizzards
and often
the wrong things
freeze

josy57:

It is odd that I have spent so much time
Speaking to you in a near constant inner dialogue
Building slowly such a deep, steadfast relationship
And you know nothing of it
Yes, we’ve had our rocky start
Many years ago, when I resented you
Loathed you, really, for not loving me
But the passion, the anger, the devouring need, it all has mellowed
Settled into something that I am at peace with
I have weaved your absence in the essence of me
I carry it inwards, cradle it, hold it like I’ve never held you
There’s no amount of time that could untangle us
You will always be my loveliest monster
Distorted by all the things I’ve projected onto you

But it’s still a bit hard at times, you being so fully unaware
I just wish you could know that if one day you get tired
Even many years from now
If it all gets too much, too hard, too inhumane
If you grow weary of ringing hollow
When this world has failed you once too many times
When you wander alone, disappointed and lost
You can always come to me
Your aching feet can carry you to an unknown part of town
Guide you to a door to knock on and I will be there
In the dead of night, at dawn, any day, any hour
I would open for you
No hesitation, no questions asked, not a word
I’d always let you in, I’d hide you, shelter you
I would take your burden, lay you down, let you rest
I would watch over you and keep you safe in the half-darkness of my unlit apartment

Rain-soaked, polluted, ruined
Standing on my doorstep
I’d still welcome you with open arms
No explanation, no apology. I’d ask nothing of you.
With my hands in your hair and your tears in my eyes
I’d stay up the whole night through
I would cry while you sleep
Lament what this wicked world has done of you
Knowing it could never alter nor diminish my devotion
Marred and half the man you used to be
In any state, in any condition
You could crawl to me on your knees
You could come broken, defeated, disfigured
You’d still be the most beautiful thing I have seen in my life
I’d excuse any flaw, I’d pardon any sin
I’d give you solace, grant you sanctuary
And I’d never expect a word or a breath in return
I am passed thinking I am owed anything
I’d never demand you hand me my heart back
I just wish you knew there’s a place somewhere
A haven, a refuge
Someone out there who truly loves you